Internship: Decisively indecisive*

It's been a tough day at the CBC. Sitting in on the staff town hall, listening for the news on what is being cut or not was tough. But also brutally fascinating.

The whole day's been centred around working, life decisions, that ellusive, misnamed "work-life balance"** idea. It's fitting on so many levels -- graduation and the pile of bricks that is "what-am-I-doing-with-my-life-am-I-employable-aaaaaaah!" has really just hit. I have no plan. I'm learning that I do not like having no plan.

A big part of this is the atmosphere here - the CBC cuts are falling hard and so much uncertainty is hard to take well. I've mostly spent the first week watching everyone worry about how it will affect their lives, jobs, family, friends - everything, really.

It makes me feel slightly better about worrying over grad, and also like I need a beer.

Of course a lot of that is environmental - all this talk of austerity (everywhere, not just at the CBC) seems to only have the net effect of stressing everyone out. A lot of that was reflected in today's phone-in about workplace burn out - callers talked about job stress, losing jobs, trying to find creative ways to deal with it, how to support themselves.

On a lower, more drawn-out level, apparently this is happens every few years as more cuts roll in. It forces people to re-evaluate why they want this job.

So do I want it? I'm not sure. But there's one thing our host said today, as a kind of post-show wind-down, which really helped. We were talking about a few line-up decisions that had to be made on the fly, and wether the right call was made. "Just make the call," she said. We can talk about it later.

I really do need to just be more decisive. Cheers to that.

*Yeah, awful title... I just couldn't decide? heheh.
**Seriously - since when is work not part of your life? It's really just a hoky term for time management skills... which, um, just mean what you do.

This was originally written as part of the internship blog we were expected to write. Click the "internship" tag for more posts from the past month.